Half of May past.. and it wasn’t a very good one. Had a super bad don’t-know-what-kind-of-virus that knock me down for a week, the younger one also had a strange fever with-no-other-symptoms that lasted a few days, the “stressful” exam period for the elder kid etc. And as if these are not enough, noises from different areas and people choose to add on.
Sometimes when things do not go well, they follow one after the other. And probably at this time before the mental starts to break down, it takes a person’s steel mind to see the good out of these.
No one really know the effort and pain you are going through. People will choose to use the past to haunt or hurt you if they do not get or hear what they want to. Just as when you thought that the past is behind and you want to leave that chapter behind, others who went through the past with you decide to remind you and use it to what and when they deem fit to. Is this, a form of emotional blackmail?
It’s hard to ignore the noise – most of the time. But sometimes you just have to. It’s takes courage to say “I have done what I should and I will still choose to do the same if time turns back and I have to make the decision again.”
I felt unjust in some situations that I am in. Words from a phone conversation that got twisted and translated to no-where-near-the-original-meaning to other audiences, implied sentences that was conveyed via whatsapp that till today when I re-read them, I still feel extremely hurt. However, I chose to keep silent because I reckon that no amount of explanation will be enough. And strangely, why do audiences expect an explanation? 왜 ?
Through these, the pillar in my life stood with me. He allowed me to cry and bawl and yet complain nothing about his wet shirt and shoulders. He extended his long arms and bear hugs instead of using words to comfort me. Though my heat aches, he has helped to make the ache somewhat palatable.
Ignore the noise. Because they are just noise.